Saturday, October 27, 2012

New Hipster's Urban Dictionary


Latest work...  calling it 'The Essential New Hipster's Urban Dictionary."

Enjoy!

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Antidope – Reversing the negative effects of a socially lacking person.  Such as an inebriated friend. 

Barackuda – A predatory species whose favorite meals are conservative in nature.

Conifer – A large manly tree.

Coniferous – Explaining your vegetarianism while retaining a chance of getting laid. 

Conviction – Set of fervent beliefs which may result in status as a convict.  Who has an eviction.

Express – That awkward interrogation in the frozen food section by a former girlfriend who demands details on your recent dating history. 

iPhun – Shenanigans made possible when your buddy leaves his iPhone unattended.

iPissed – When iPhun goes too far. 

Joggernot – A man emphasizing his strength conditioning over aerobic performance.  As muted silence follows, the mention of a coniferous lifestyle is ill-advised.

Mailstrom – Pulp cloud resulting from high winds and those bleeping Pennysaver! coupon books.

Malady – To express dissatisfaction with a female who has expressed you.  Often accompanied with a shake of head and dry clucking noise.

Mousetache – Entreating your rodent, Mr. Jeffers, to lie prone on your upper lip. 
(See also: conviction)

Plantinum – Doesn’t matter how cool it looks at the store, fake plants are death for libido. 

Sinthetic – Evil deeds done dirt cheap. 

Torture – Painful, exhausting process at the hands of a legal motion.  

VINdictive - Typical: damage resulting from thief who, upon breaking into your car and discovering a miserable loot of lint-covered pennies and mixed tapes, wrathfully damages the vehicle's interior.  

Whimsicull – A light-hearted action whose intended results are catastrophic, such as sprinkling coke into the apartment’s central air and offing the old lady in 9B. 
(See also: conviction)