Latest work... calling it 'The Essential New Hipster's Urban Dictionary."
Enjoy!
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Antidope – Reversing the negative effects of a socially
lacking person. Such as an inebriated
friend.
Barackuda – A predatory species whose favorite meals are
conservative in nature.
Conifer – A large manly tree.
Coniferous – Explaining your vegetarianism while retaining a
chance of getting laid.
Conviction – Set of fervent beliefs which may result in
status as a convict. Who has an
eviction.
Express – That awkward interrogation in the frozen food section
by a former girlfriend who demands details on your recent dating history.
iPhun – Shenanigans made possible when your buddy leaves his
iPhone unattended.
iPissed – When iPhun goes too far.
Joggernot – A man emphasizing his strength conditioning over
aerobic performance. As muted silence follows,
the mention of a coniferous lifestyle is ill-advised.
Mailstrom – Pulp cloud resulting from high winds and those
bleeping Pennysaver! coupon books.
Malady – To express dissatisfaction with a female who has
expressed you. Often accompanied with a
shake of head and dry clucking noise.
Mousetache – Entreating your rodent, Mr. Jeffers, to lie
prone on your upper lip.
(See also: conviction)
Plantinum – Doesn’t matter how cool it looks at the store,
fake plants are death for libido.
Sinthetic – Evil deeds done dirt cheap.
Torture – Painful, exhausting process at the hands of a
legal motion.
VINdictive - Typical: damage resulting from thief who, upon breaking into your car and discovering a miserable loot of lint-covered pennies and mixed tapes, wrathfully damages the vehicle's interior.
Whimsicull – A light-hearted action whose intended results
are catastrophic, such as sprinkling coke into the apartment’s central air and
offing the old lady in 9B.
(See also: conviction)
